Having it all

So I was blessed to not have to work while my little guy was waitlisted for daycare (which is in drastically short supply under 2). When he went to school I was able to get hired with a former employer…. which was amazing considering I am pregnant!!

Fast forward a few months… I cannot wait to be off work. I feel like i cannot be a complete person in anything i do. Be it work, mom, wife, runner of the household. Having it all means things get sacrificed, and this week it feels like everything is losing out. I’ve had doctor appointments this week, so already not a full work day. Then my youngest is sick, but i cannot fully be there to comfort him or take care of him. I have to schedule more appointments but doing so means other things get cut… which makes me feel guilty both for those tasks being cut and because i know these appointments are to keep my baby healthy, so I should be ready and willing to attend. All around, just feel like I can’t be successful in anything right now.

I know moms do it. I know you CAN have it all. I’ve done it. But right now, with my baby crying and simply wanting me to rub his back while he lays in the couch; it sure feels like an impossible dream.

Timehop Memories…

Yesterday my 3 year old told me he didn’t want my help going potty.  Which, yes, is amazing and praise the Lord. But.. seeing him push his little step stool around to go potty, turn on the water, get soap, and turn off the water… made a little part of my heart sad.  It was one of many steps on his road to independence.  One step closer to him not wanting a hug before school, or to be tucked in at night.  I look at my timehop on Facebook or Google photos and see his chubby little face smiling at me and it seems like it was just last week he was completely reliant on me for literally everything!! So, as I watch him journey a little farther down the road to independence each day, I’m going to savor every moment I can where he DOES need my help. Be it tying his shoes, or a sleepy request to be carried downstairs in the morning – even if I’m only half awake myself.  Because I know that soon I won’t get those requests.. and only have timehop memories to remind me how quick it really all does go by…